My thesis statement for the essay is "The issues of discrimination of burakumin should be taught in junior high schools in Japan."
The first supporting point is that since all Japanese children go to middle school, every child has a chance to learn about issues of discrimination against burakumin. Not everyone goes to high school, and I believe that it is the last chance in middle school that every Japanese person are educated equally.
The second supporting point is that since Japanese history is taught in junior high school and it gives better understanding for the students. Without knowing the background of discriminations, it is difficult to understand about the issue. I did learn a bit about burakumin's history in elementary school but because history classes taught in elementary school were less specific, the issue did not seem too serious and important to me. Therefore it is much better to be taught in junior high school.
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I'm not sure if I will do further research about marriage discriminination of burakumin, but if I did, I want to write about it as the third supporting point.
The third supporting point is that since Japanese girls can marry from the age of 16, they should know about marriage discrimination before they turn 16.
I think the first two points are valid, and I strongly urge you to also include the third point. I would like you to cover three points of support if possible, and it seems you have three usable points. Use them all.
ReplyDeleteThanks!